There are many things that can clutter our minds, weigh on our thoughts, and create stress in our lives. Having a child, increases all of these pressures exponentially. When my daughter was being born, I had taken about 4 years off off school and was, at the time, in my second to last trimester of my undergrad degree since going back. I chose to do my History Thesis paper during that trimester so I didn’t have such a HUGE stress on my mind during my last set of classes. At that moment, with a pregnant wife, commuting 2 hours each way to school, working part-time, and sleeping about 6 hours each night… that was a beautiful time. I had no idea what a baby would do.
I had no idea
Once this perfect little bottle of sunshine kicked her way into existence, Everything I thought I knew about anything changed. Sleep became more necessary, but harder to come by. My wife and I became more of a WWE tag-team than a married couple. The simplest errands became like packing for a road-trip, and road-trips turned into feeling like moving out for college. Everything just became… MORE.
I remember bringing her home from the hospital and just watching her. At that age they don’t do much, but just the pure and simple fact that she existed, and was right in front of us was awe-inspiring. For three days, we watched her sleep, we watched her breathe, we watched her poop, and we watched her eat. Our minds had literally been blown, and we needed that time to wrap our heads around what had just happened. I had 9 nephews and one niece, but my daughter was just… more.
I was 25 at the time of her birth, and I love all that she has brought into my life. I also love all that she has forced me to let go of in order to be and create what she needs. She is the 2nd most important woman in my life after my wife. She is the reason I began to call myself Dad.
-JB
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I love your observation about how b/c it’s yours, they are just ‘more’. That’s so very true. And i am still in that early stage. It was just 6months ago that i was double checking that she was still breathing throughout the night, and here we are, she has her first cold and is a sad little sight to see her coughing her head off; but it’s when she stops coughing that i get worried and sneak up to her crib to make sure that she’s still alive.
I’m still trying to find my place as a father-figure and adult role model to our 9y/o and i struggle with the reality that it’s not about finding time for them in my life, but making sure that i’m part of theirs.
Spot on… Jokingly, my wife and I have a countdown to when our kids will not want to jump on us in the mornings and they won’t want us around during the weekends. But as I write this, our 3yo is in her arms asleep on the couch, ad she is asleep too, because she doesn’t know how many more times she’ll be able to do that.
Amen bro. A baby changes EVERYTHING. Keep up the good work. The title of “Dad” is a badge of honor.
Being a dad can truly change you for the better… if you let it. Thanks for the comment!