Apr 10 2013

#DadsRT: A Round Table of Dads

The Dads of the Round Table are a merry bunch of men. Some may consider us a motley crew, a posse of bandits, or even blogging rebels. But we are more than the sum of our parts; we became something bigger than ourselves… a community. The seven of us, The Rookie, The SaskaDad, the Dad in Charge, Team BPD, Brad the Dad, the Founded Father, and myself have become a band of brothers.

However, when we stared the Dads Round Table, we did not start it for us, or even for dads; we started it for people. We are here for moms, dads, brothers, sisters, grandparents, children, and anyone else. In fact, our only prerequisite is that you have a heartbeat. There is already a great post that sheds light on the fact that it is Dads Round Table and not Dad’s Round Table.

At the core of our purpose is community. We enjoy chatting about life with one another and with you. We do this through comments on the articles posted and through our weekly Round Table Discussions both on the blog and on #DadsRT on Wednesday nights.

Our views are not the same and we come from different backgrounds and countries, but the way we think about and discuss issues is the same; we value discussion and debate. This Round Table has no “official” stance on any subject. I don’t say that because we don’t want to alienate anyone, but its because you NEED those opposing viewpoint in order to have an ACTUAL discussion about anything.

We may be a group of dads who have a community with DADS in the name, but we are here for anyone and everyone.

-JB

Feb 4 2013

@ChickswChoices Does a Series with Dudes!

In an alternate dimension, on the other side of the internet, a friend of mine who lives right around the corner wrestled with some of the same questions I did, but from the opposite gender. Kim Galgano, is sharing with women and helping them on their own personal journey to uncover the “unique path [they] were always meant to live.” She is challenging women to remember who THEY are, and to become the person they were meant to be. More than a life coach, or an orator, she is not motivated by selling you a product, but in giving her time to women through Coffee House Chats, Girlfriend Getaways, and Public Speaking Events.

She is not larger than life, but her heart is, and that is why when she asked for me to join in with a series on her blog, I was happy to do so. Starting this week, as men everywhere cope with the end of the NFL season, Kim has a series beginning called Dudes with Decisions. It starts tomorrow, and it’s all about us guys sharing our perspective on the decisions we have made in life. I will be talking about Defining Decisions on Tuesday, so I hope you will stop by and check it out!

-JB

Dec 27 2012

Sometime in 2013, I will…

As we coast though the New Year, and begin to make our New Year’s Resolutions, I invite you to take a moment and think about the men in your life. Consider the impact they have had in your life – whether positive or negative – and how their influence has brought you to this point in your life. As someone who has some issues with my dads, and the seemingly MORE negative than positive impact they had in my life, I am going to make the effort to genuinely thank them.

WHY? As a man, I did this with my Mom, and it released a LOAD of a burden I was carrying. Until I did that, I was angry on the inside and didn’t have a medium for release. I thanked my mom for her effort to raise me right – even though I didn’t really mature until I was away from her. As a dad, I need to do this, because I still carry insecurities about just how to be a dad, and know that I overcompensate in some ways.

Sometime in 2013 I will…

Thank my dads. I will thank my step-dad for, in spite of failing my siblings before me, trying so hard to show me how to work hard for what I want out of life. And I will thank my biological dad, whom I only met about 10 years ago, that kids need their dad around. I thought I was a complete person until 15 seconds into meeting him. There is something silently profound in literally seeing the other half of your genetic make-up.

The lessons I learned from these men come from reflecting on our relationships as a man and a dad, and it is only now that I have a son and a daughter of my own that I see these lessons. i now will need to say these things to their face.

-JB

Dec 6 2012

42 The Movie: The Guts Not To Fight

I’ve recently made a post about the new Spielberg movie coming out soon called Lincoln, and I want to take another chance to talk about another movie coming out soon that has a trailer that has given me chills every time I’ve watched it. This movie, 42, is about Jackie Robinson, and it presents a lesson I think is important for not only my little mixed kids to learn, but for all kids to learn.

One of the things that people forget, or don’t realize, is that the people/personas backed by the Civil Rights Movement or to integrate harsh and hateful environments were not the fighters, but the determined. Rosa Parks was not the first Black person to refuse to move to the back of a bus, but she was a nice old lady that the Civil Rights Movement could champion in good conscience. This trailer depicts this wisdom that a player… that a MAN like Jackie Robinson was carefully chosen to integrate into the Brooklyn Dodgers.

How is this an important lesson for kids?

There’s two lines in this trailer that I think are crucial lessons for our kids to learn:

“Are you looking for someone who doesn’t have the guts to fight back?”

“I’m looking for someone who has the guts NOT to fight back.”

We tell our kids as they navigate their way through school to be kind and to stick up for others, and not to let someone pick on them. In those instances what do we want our kids to do? How do we want them to fight back, or know that they don’t have to?

Don’t forget to head over to the Dads Round Table and see what else I’ve been working on.

-JoeB

Oct 9 2012

Rotary First Harvest Work Party 2012: #ALifeBuildingHope

27% … increase in the number of households in Washington State that experienced food insecurity, or have a concern that there will not be enough food for everyone in the household.

36% … the increase in the rate of hunger in Washington State from last year.

There is good news though.

I was fortunate enough to have been asked to witness the Courage Classic over the Summer, which is a fundraising cycling trek over 3 Washington state passes that benefits ___. I recently received an email asking me to share about the Rotary’s next selfless project called the Rotary First Harvest.

Below is an excerpt from the Rotary First Harvest (RFH) website that explains what they do:

RFH acts as a conduit between farmers and the programs that serve hungry individuals and families in our region. Farmers are occasionally left with surplus fruits and vegetables that can’t be sold due to minor imperfections (such as carrots with two legs or apples that are the wrong size or color), or might not be harvested because of a glut on the market.

Traditionally, this nutritious produce would be sent to a landfill or left to rot in the fields. Instead, RFH directs it to those in need.

How does this work?

This coming Saturday, October 13th, Rotary District 5030 has organized a Work Party. If you ever thought that you did not have the resources to donate money to a cause or to help those in need, you can take a moment, and donate your time, your sweat, and your functioning back to help get food ready for distribution.

Rotary First Harvest Work Party (short) from Rotary District 5030 on Vimeo.

What Am I Doing?

I was asked to share about this event, attend and get to know the people that organize and volunteer at it, but there’s another reason I’m doing this. I’m bringing my kids with me. I want to take this as an opportunity to talk to them about helping others and SHOW them what that looks like. Leading into the holiday season, or as I like to call it, “No”, it will be a great way to open their minds to the fact that there are people in the world who do not have as much as we have been blessed to have, and there is something more important out there than what commercials tell you.

Stay Tuned

I will be on Twitter during the RFH Work Party sharing photos and posting them under the hashtag #ALifeBuildingHope and on their Facebook Page. I will also be writing another post in the week following the event sharing about my experience there, and about some of the Rotarians and volunteers I met while there. I know many of you are not from Washington and would join the work party, but take a second to share this because exposure is one of the greatest tools that good people have when working to help those in need.

-JB

Aug 7 2012

Courage Classic 2012: Lunch on Snoqualmie Summit

There seems to be a line that we as a culture draw in the sand as being too far. There seems to be a group that any community can agree to come together to support, to build, and to protect. There seems to be one group that no matter the circumstances, I get so angry when I hear of pain or suffering being inflicted upon them. That group is children.

Maybe it’s because I am a dad of 2, maybe it’s because I’m a teacher, or maybe its because kids deserve to go through life without anyone causing them pain, but in my eyes, to abuse a child is to forfeit your humanity.

Behind this whole event are the Rotary Clubs of Pierce County. Rotary clubs come together to benefit their communities, but about 23 years ago, these Rotary Clubs stepped up to help, not only abused children wherever they may be. To say that the Courage Classic helps a noble cause is to understate what it does not only for the children, but for all who participate. Many riders agreed that the Courage Classic was one of the few cycling events that coupled a challenging course with a cause worth being a part of. In addition, the Courage Classic is known for giving 100% of the money raised to the charity it supports.

The Courage Classic Facebook Page explains it like this:

The Child Abuse Intervention Department (CAID) provides medical treatment, psychosocial support, legal advocacy and crisis intervention services for victims or child abuse and their families. CAID also offers strategies for the prevention of child abuse for parents and community groups through our various programs.
100% of the revenues generated by Courage Classic goes back to the CAID, accounting for approximately 30% of the annual operating budget.

An Event Full Of Stories

I was fortunate enough to just be able to hang around and watch the interactions of the riders and the Rotarians, and it was more like walking into that small diner where they know you’re coming and what kind of day you’re having, and they have your favorite pie waiting for you. Yeah, it feels that comfortable after riding up a mountain pass. People were greeted with warm welcomes and smiling faces. The Rotary Lunch at the Summit of Snoqualmie Pass has been going since the beginning of the Courage Classic.

Meet Mel

Mel was one of the first Rotarians (which they refer to themselves as) I chatted with, and he is my source for much of the history of how the Courage Classic came to be. He’s the perfect source since he has been volunteering at this Lunch Stop since the beginning. Mel was a very warm person to chat with, as were many Rotarians, and he helped me feel quite welcome and at ease since i was just roaming around out-of-place trying to chat with riders and volunteers while explaining what a blogger even is. I have a strong feeling that Mel, having been at the Courage Classic for the last 21 years, while continue to be around by the time a get around to making the trip myself… hopefully soon.

Meet Lori and Bryan

Lori’s Story is one that grabbed me. Bryan and Lori (she’s the one in the tutu and the veil) were just married 6 weeks ago Lori and Bryan were married 6 weeks ago. Normally, she had a very compelling story to help he do the fundraising for the Courage Classic. However, this year, she used her wedding to raise the funds. About 5 or 6 years ago (my fact-checker is a potty training 2-year-old) Lori was juror on child abuse case of a 5 month old. To say the least, it effected her. In order to get the imaged from the trial out of her head, Lori said she had to go fast, and expel some energy. So she started biking. It only worked for so long, until she heard about the Courage Classic while looking to upgrade her bike about 5 months later. She is still in contact with the girl from the trial, and she is a beautiful person whose heart brought her to the Courage Classic and won’t let her leave.

Meet Team Joy

I met these two ladies as they were walking to pick up their bikes and head back on the course. It was the picture on the back of their jerseys that caught my attention. They ride for one’s mom who passed away five years ago from ovarian cancer. Team Joy rides to raise awareness for ovarian cancer, which happens to be the one kind of cancer my mom is a survivor of. If you go to their website, they have a quote on the front page that I think does a great job of illustrating why many of the riders ride for the Courage Classic as many of the other cycling events. The quote reads, “Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves.” I want to say a thank you to Team Joy for sharing their story.

Meet Craig

I may be mistaken, but I think Craig is the team leader to the Alaska Air Team. Alaska Airlines also has been the new corporate sponsor for the Courage Classic for the last few years. What does that mean? That means they get their name on the title, and they pay for a lot of the resources needed to make it such an incredible event. However, talking with Craig, I learned that he is a large reason why Alaska Air is involved in the first place. The willingness of a company like Alaska Airlines to jump on board a cause like this makes me glad that I have flown them a lot. Craig is pictured with his son, who was a patient at Mary Bridge Children’s Hospital. They ride a tandem bike during the Courage Classic, which (so I’ve been told) is much harder. Craig took the time to talk to me about Alaska, about how he helped get his company involved, and his story begs the question, How can you get your company involved in something you’re passionate about?

These were just a few of the people I met.

There was the Super Heroines

The Mallard-Hat (and shark-hat) Greeters

There was Pete, who attempted to summit Rainier a couple times, and still wants to give it a go!

And there was the “Strategy Meeting” I saw happening in the background in the shade.

I have never experienced anything like this, and I want to thank the Pierce County Rotary Cubs for allowing me to crash their party and share it with you all.
And I hope to experience it again.

-JB

Jul 9 2012

You Will Know Me By My Father

A funny thing happened while coaching Tennis Camp this week… I recognized a kid because I knew his dad. It’s funny to me because it wasn’t because he looks like his dad, but because he carries his father with him. I know the dad from Men’s breakfasts in our church and have heard how he talks about his sons, and how he coaches at a school in a neighboring town.

So when I was getting to know the kids in attendance, and we were talking about where they were from, and I don’t remember what the kid said, but suddenly everything came into focus. I recognized the team on his shirt as the team his dad coaches, and he mentioned going to our church, and his dads voice began to ring in my ears of the stories where he’s talked about trying to be a better man and dad for his sons. It all came into focus and I knew who their dad was, and I immediately felt like I knew the boys. There was an instantaneous camaraderie that came from knowing who their dad was.

They were carrying their dad with them, and we all do that, and we hope that our kids will always take our teaching with them. I didn’t have to ask them if “so-and-so” was their dad, because I knew. I knew them, because I knew their dad, and in knowing their dad, I knew their character and what to expect from them.
One of my favorite times of year as a teacher is Parent/Teacher Conferences. It is my chance to see where these kids I see every day get their strengths and weaknesses. It is my time to discover why they are the way that they are. For me, conferences are rarely about the grades or performance of the student, but it’s about getting the complete picture of who this student is. Being able to look mom and dad in the eye and interact with them lets me see family values, parental expectations, and home supports when I set my expectations for them after that.

My kids look like me, but my hope is that they will carry me with them; in their heart, in their values, and in their actions. I hope that someone who knows me can meet my kids and see me in them.

-JB

Jun 20 2012

Dad-Flicks: Happy Feet

This movie is cute and an Environmentalist commercial for PETA. However, ignoring those obvious themes, it is a story about a father and his ability to deal with the decisions he has made, and the effect those decisions had on the man his boy as to become.

Maybe it’s because I watched this movie with my dad-eyes on and I saw the fears that old penguin had as he watched his boy life with the results of his inability to take care of his responsibilities at the appointed time. Maybe I am reading to far into this children’s movie, but living with the sins of the father is a universally understandable feeling; we are all living with the burden of our parents choices on our shoulders.

How is it penguins (a bird hat can’t even fly) have the dadhood figured out more than we do? They understand the importance of male-bonding with the newborn (egg) and the dad’s role as a protector of that baby. The huddle to endure the endless night is a great parallel to the onslaught fathers endure from society. Dads need one another for strength and encouragement to endure, and sometimes they need to be surrounded and protected until they can endure the cold.

Initially, this movie was a bit weird t me, but it has OBVIOUS dad-issues in it that sometimes are worth exploring.

Thoughts?

-JB

May 14 2012

Who’s Better: Moms or Dads?

Who the F* Cares?

It is my understanding that when it comes to parenting, there is no better, only different. I am a MAN, and my wife is a WOMAN. Our perspectives are different. The way we deal with and cope with the world is different. The interests we have are different. Our hobbies and the ways we want to vacation are different. Is one better than the other? Well, I like to think mine is better, but that is just MY perspective.

When it comes to parenting, there is no better, but it is our differences that should compliment one another. These differences stem NOT from gender, but from upbringing, exposures, experiences, and culture. There are things that my wife does amazingly, and there are things that I don’t do half-bad. One thing I KNOW for a FACT that my wife does better than me is breastfeed. After that, it’s up for debate. My kids want to wrestle with me and shower her in kisses and snuggles. My kids want to play baseball with me and read with her. My kids try to lick my head and they sing with her.

Is one thing better than the other, or are all these things necessary for kids to grow? If I was a single parent I know my kids would miss my wife’s influence not because it’s better, but because it would add to the people they with grow into. As Bruce Sallan says, “We are the other side of the equation.”

When it comes to parenting, there is no better, only different.

-JB

This post was in response to a piece of $h!t post published on Babble.com, which was recently bought by Disney.

May 11 2012

Reconciling Manhood & Dadhood: Connection

I’ve come to the conclusion that Manhood and Dadhood do, in fact, have things in common and not only in opposition to each other. Since I started this blog I been looking for what is it that makes a man and what is it that makes a dad and what I’m about to say is the first characteristic that they share.

Connecting to other dads.

There is something special that happens when men come together and especially when dads come together in a common cause; in the mindset to discuss their experiences and to make each other better. What is really comes down to, is that when men are together (no matter the situation) he’ll fight for the lives of those they care about and the men around them. One of the things I’m learning is to connect to dads through their blogs and not just on Twitter.

This connection is not only in the mentor/mentee capacity, which some of us might need, but it is in a capacity of a brotherhood sharing and discussing and debating and just connecting.

No Man is an Island

Iron Sharpens Iron

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother

These are not proof of the need for men and dads to connect to one another, but they do illustrate that I am not coming up with a new idea. I am just coming to the realization of what has helped me in the last couple years has been the connections i have to other men who are dads.

What do you think? Can a man/dad be a complete individual without the connections and brotherhood of other good men?

Manhood v. Dadhood

Live It! Love It!

Category Archives: ManvDad

#DadsRT: A Round Table of Dads

-JB

@ChickswChoices Does a Series with Dudes!

-JB